Magical Moments

The Christmas Star And
Starting a New Holiday Tradition

So the reason for the season is almost upon us and I am still knee deep in storage boxes, greenery and making Christmas cards. Let’s not even talk Christmas Cookies and Parties. I am so behind I will probably still be decorating on Valentine’s Day!

In my defense, I have started a new position and I am still learning the ropes, so it is taking some major brainpower. I’m living in a mess day after day and I try to make headway during the extra hour I have here and there. The long suffering husband just nods and smiles when the chandelier greens get torn down yet again because I can’t seem to get them just right. My chandelier may be greens less this year! Oh well.

When decorating for the holidays, I’ve come to the conclusion that you can’t out do yourself every year, and you shouldn’t expect to. Some years everything I touch turns out and the juices are flowing. I get the vignette done and I stand back to make sure it doesn’t need any tweaking and I clap all by myself. Yup, it’s really good. I just get giddy with joy. Last Christmas was just that way for me. I had a new room to inspire me and everything fell into place. I was so pleased with almost everything I touched. This year not so much! I think I just must be too distracted, so I think that I will focus on the magical moments, of which there are a few. Does this home decorating block ever happen to you? I will keep you posted but I do want to share a magical moment that happened to me just last weekend.

My Dad died December 19, 2007 so this will be the 10-year anniversary of that day. (This is not a sad story so don’t be afraid to keep reading!) He loved Christmas, Christmas parties, Christmas presents, and the Christmas Decorating that my mom always did. There home was spectacular every holiday season. My Mom would make dozens upon dozens of Christmas Cookies and she would end up hiding them all over the house because my dad, my sister and I would find all the hiding places and sneak the cookies. We would then scatter them around in the boxes lined with wax paper and pretend mom wouldn’t notice that there were cookies missing from the boxes. She hid them in the shower (my dad was a traveling salesman) under the sink, in the trunk of the car. She hid them everywhere. This would drive her nuts because by the week of Christmas she would have to start baking all over again. It was a very vicious cycle.

When my daughters were about 7 and 3, Dad decided it was time to start a tradition just for them. The week of Christmas Dad would make the girls get all dressed up in their Christmas best and he would take them to a very fancy restaurant for lunch. Dad introduced Heather to Prime Rib but Brooke was all about Mac and Cheese! The desert cart would come with all these beautiful deserts and the girls would order vanilla ice cream much to my dad’s dismay. After lunch he would take them shopping. They each had a small budget but they could buy whatever they liked for that amount of money. Swatch Watches being one years favorite. That’s the kind of man he was. This tradition carried on until they went to college.

As I have mentioned before my Dad was very talented and later in his life Mom and Dad were getting ready for a Christmas Party. Mom mentioned she would like Dad to make a wooden 5 pointed star, nothing fancy, about 6” in diameter that she could clamp to a small tree, that was a centerpiece for one of the tables she had done. He knocked it out in no time and brought it upstairs complete with a clothespin on the back to clip it to the tree. Mom painted it silver and then glittered it and clipped it. No big deal. But it was kind of a neat, simple sort of star.

After my dads death Mom decided to divide up the Christmas decorations between my sister and me and I ended up with the star.

My oldest daughter Heather and my dad were very close and she has taken my dads death very hard. Christmas for her has just never been the same. The truth is of course, it has never been the same for any of us, but you pick yourself up and keep going. Several years ago I gave Heather that star. I just felt she needed it. I was happy the star was with her.

Fast forward to last weekend. Now the happy part of the Christmas Star Story begins.

The Noise and Babble Boys come bursting in the house to help me decorate the Christmas tree. They are 5 and 4 and I was so happy to see them because they have had a bug running thru their house for the last few weeks.

Brooke tells me we saw Aunti H last weekend and she told the boys they could pick any Christmas ornament off her Christmas tree and take it home and put it on theirs. Brooke said “you know how Logan reminds us all of Pop Pop?” Of course I said yes, she told me Logan picked the Christmas Star. This didn’t register with me at first. She said “you know mom, the star” I just gasped. Brooke told Logan he needed to pick another ornament because the star was very special. Heather told him “no, no, a deal is a deal, and he can have it.” The tears came to my eyes and they came to Brooke’s eyes too. (Brooke isn’t a crier) we hugged and laughed. Gage looked at us and he couldn’t figure out why we were crying and I told him they were happy tears.

Soon we dug into the tree. I had managed to get most of it decorated but left several ornaments for them to put on the tree. Short attention span you know! Aunti H’s tradition touched me so much that I told the boys they could pick an ornament off my tree as well to put onto theirs. (I have more non-negotiable however, or maybe I’m just not that generous!)

Logan selected a polar bear but Gage picked a cheap plastic 1950’s vintage cylinder that has a twirley thing in it so when the furnace comes on, it spins. Brooke says to Gage no you have to pick something else because this one is special. I said no, no, “a deal is a deal” but when you put it on your Christmas Tree every year I want you to remember that this was on my Grandpa’s Christmas tree, so this was your great great grandpa’s Christmas ornament.

And, so it goes. You pick yourself up and carry on. Sometimes Magical Moments come into your life when you least expect them.

Thank you Heather for having such a generous spirit. Thank you Brooke and the Noise and Babble Boys for making a magical moment.

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La personne doit également avoir des notions de psychologie afin de déterminer la part de sorcellerie et celle de troubles psychologiques fréquents chez les patients. La personne doit posséder une bonne hygiène de vie, notamment spirituelle puisqu’il n’est pas inutile de rappeler que le succès de la « roqya » dépend de Dieu. Ces critères sont difficilement évaluables, surtout par une personne qui est affectée par un mal-être, quelle que soit sa source. C’est pourquoi les proches doivent accompagner la personne dans la recherche d’un soignant qualifié et reconnu comme tel par des référents religieux de la localité (imam, responsables associatifs, etc.). De manière générale, le soignant doit posséder des qualités déterminées que nous pouvons synthétiser de la manière suivante. Il doit : être en capacité de lire le Coran, croire avec certitude au Coran, être empreint de piété, connaître les pièges et les caractéristiques du diable et des djinns, connaître la méthode prophétique de la « roqya », disposer de connaissances de base en psychologie, avoir la conviction que le succès de sa thérapie dépend de Dieu. A l’exception de la première exigence, il semble difficile de vérifier les autres conditions dans le cadre d’un entretien téléphonique avec une personne que nous n’avons jamais rencontrée, même si elle se présente sous le titre de « cheikh » ou d’un imam. Par conséquent, ces conditions soulignent une première limite quant au recours à la « roqya » par téléphone. Par ailleurs, à l’instar de tout médecin, le soignant doit, avant de prodiguer des conseils ou une médication, procéder à une consultation. Ainsi, un environnement adéquat est indispensable pour la réalisation d’une « roqya ». Il est enfin inconcevable qu’un médecin puisse vous affirmer par téléphone connaître votre maladie et attester pouvoir vous guérir. Vous auriez plus que des doutes sur ce prétendu médecin. II- Un environnement propice et la réalisation d’une consultation préalable à la réalisation d’une « roqya » Il est intéressant de noter que, dans son ouvrage « Comment se protéger des djinns & satan », Wahîd ‘Abdussalâm Bâli évoque l’importance du climat pour réaliser une roqya[2]. Ainsi, il expose les points suivants : « 1. Préparer le climat adéquat en faisant par exemple sortir les images et les statues de la pièce où on va soigner le malade, pour permettre aux anges d’y entrer. 2. Débarrasser le sujet de tout ce qu’il peut porter sur lui comme talismans ou amulettes et les brûler. 3. Éteindre tout ce qui peut émettre le son de la musique et des chants. 4. Vider le lieu de tout ce qui comporte une infraction à la shari‘a à savoir, par exemple, la présence d’un homme qui porte de l’or ou une femme qui ne porte pas le voile légal – al-hijab. 5. Donner au malade et à sa famille une leçon de dogme de façon à ce que leurs cœurs ne soient pas attachés à un autre qu’Allah. 6. Leur faire savoir que la façon de soigner est différente de celle des sorciers et des charlatans et que le Coran recèle guérison et miséricorde, comme l’a informé Allah le Puissant et le Majestueux. 7. Diagnostiquer son cas : pour cela poser des questions au malade pour s’assurer de la présence de tous les symptômes (…) ». Or, dans les témoignages communiqués, l’interlocuteur qui se présente comme soignant ne pose aucune question aux personnes. Il débute ainsi la « roqya » directement par une récitation du Coran. En outre, il est intéressant de souligner que dans l’un des témoignages communiqués à l’UFCM, l’interlocuteur demandait à la personne de remplir successivement des verres de lait, d’huile, d’eau etc. et de les poser par la suite sur la table de la salle à manger. Au point que la personne s’est retrouvée avec une multitude de verres posés sur la table. Le comble est que la personne ignorait ce qu’elle devait en faire lorsqu’elle a pris conscience de la tromperie. Nous constatons par conséquent qu’une « roqya » ne peut être réalisée dans un environnement quelconque. En effet, une procédure de diagnostic est essentielle. Nous pouvons à titre d’exemple faire le parallèle avec un rendez-vous chez le médecin ; ce dernier ne peut vous prescrire une ordonnance sans au préalable vous avoir ausculté et interrogé sur les différents symptômes que vous ressentez physiquement. A défaut, au lieu de guérir vous allez aggraver vos maux. Cette attitude vigilante du médecin traitant doit se retrouver lorsque nous envisageons le recours à une « roqya ». Pour illustrer ce propos, nous citerons l’exemple de l’anthropologue, spécialiste de l’islam européen, Farid El Asri, chercheur associé au Centre Jacques Berque, qui nous rapporte une situation alarmante suite à une « roqya » : « Une jeune femme en Belgique (…) est morte suite à une tentative d’exorcisme. Pendant les séances, les fkihs (imams) utilisent normalement de l’eau « coranisée ». Pour cette jeune femme, prétendument stérile, les exorcistes ont carrément plongé son visage dans l’eau et quand elle tentait d’en sortir pour respirer, les guérisseurs estimaient qu’il s’agissait du jinn qui l’habitait et ils replongeaient son visage dans l’eau. Pendant le procès, la famille de la défunte s’est présentée comme musulmane et a accusé ces pratiques d’être extérieures à l’islam quand les guérisseurs estimaient qu’ils avaient simplement fait ce qu’ils pouvaient. Le fait de recourir trop systématiquement au fkih risque également de faire passer une crise d’épilepsie, par exemple, pour une crise de possession. »[3] Nous allons aborder enfin la dernière problématique, celle relative aux honoraires du soignant. III- Les honoraires du soignant Le Prophète, bénédictions et salut sur lui, « a agréé les Compagnons qui ont été payés pour la roqya ». Il est dès lors autorisé de rémunérer un soignant en contrepartie d’une prestation. Toutefois, cette rémunération doit être raisonnable et surtout clairement définie avant le traitement. En outre, nous ne pouvons que souligner et rappeler que, si la roqya est réalisée dans un cadre sérieux, il convient de procéder à toutes les déclarations administratives. Comme pour tout contrat, vous devez exiger un document écrit et le praticien doit préciser quels sont ses engagements exacts afin d’éviter tout litige postérieur. Malheureusement, tous les témoignages transmis à l’UFCM soulignent que l’interlocuteur insiste à plusieurs reprises sur la gratuité de la prestation. Or, dans les faits, cette dernière est payante puisque le coût de la communication est surtaxé. Ainsi, l’une des victimes qui nous a contacté, s’est retrouvée avec une facture téléphonique (hors forfait) de 1800 euros. Par conséquent, nous constatons que ces « roqyas » gratuites sont fondées sur la technique dite du « call-back » qui consiste à amener une personne à rappeler un numéro surtaxé, information qui lui est bien évidemment dissimulée. Une « roqya » peut être payante à condition de respecter un cadre prédéterminé, fondé sur l’information et la transparence des honoraires. En conclusion A la lumière des développements susvisés, l’UFCM appelle d’une part à une régulation du métier de la pratique de la « roqya », d’autre part, à la vigilance de chacun à ne pas céder à la tentation d’une « roqya » qui ne serait pas réalisée dans les conditions requises et qui pourrait produire des effets inverses. Au-delà du cadre spirituel ou juridique, les divers témoignages reçus et étudiés par l’UFCM ne peuvent pas nous laisser indifférents à la question suivante : pourquoi des personnes sont-elles amenées à accepter aussi facilement une « roqya » par téléphone ? Est-ce la gratuité qui a déterminé leur choix ? Certes le mal-être produit par cette société est de plus en plus grand. Nous vivons une époque où les êtres sont de plus en plus coupés des signes de Dieu et vivent un rythme de vie effréné. Ces affaires sont révélatrices des maux les plus profonds qui touchent la communauté musulmane. Par ailleurs, comme l’ensemble des rites islamiques (hajj, halal, pompes funèbres) censés nous rappeler les limites qui déterminent la voie vers Dieu, nous constatons que leur marchandisation trahit de plus en plus leur vocation première. Suffit-il qu’un interlocuteur se présente à nous comme un « cheikh » ou un imam et qu’il nous propose une « roqya » gratuite pour l’accepter aussitôt Ne devrions-nous pas tous nous interroger sur le fait qu’il y ait des musulmanes et des musulmans aussi isolés et aussi ignorants de leur propre religion pour être trompés aussi facilement ? Sommes-nous devenus si dépendants des Hommes que nous en oublions de nous adresser directement à Dieu pour solutionner nos malaises ? Autant de questions que chacun d’entre nous a la responsabilité de se poser. En effet, aucun de nous ou de nos proches ne sont à l’abri d’une telle tromperie. 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  314. After I initially commented I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment is added I recieve 4 emails with the same comment. Is there a means you can remove me from that service? Kudos!

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